Have you ever wondered what the early daylight says to us when it peeps through the train’s gateway having a poetic pattern yet no uniform pattern or not a pattern at all, to the way it convenes itself to us. It sings a song of freedom, that true liberty lies being curbed sometimes. The gigantic fire ball, sun could burn the entire universe but still it does not giving a perfect example of how power which is not corruptive is constructive to an entire range of living beings from tiny micros to gigantic macros . It doesn’t distinguish among its people, it is us who have partitioned the universe; to the further even our own kind into rich, poor, religion biases and etc. This Planet of ours gets light regardless of any biases yet we humans overlook this small detail of the almighty and fight over his name for selfish benefits. Hope we learn our lessons from the sun’s abstract yet definite poetry of power which displays the true fundamentals of building an organised structure of ethereal quality.
It’s really astonishing when I look back at those five days. About two hundred unknown faces sitting next to each other and then someone cracks an ultimate joke n all the sullen faces light up. Sweet abuses fill up the conversations and begins relationships which may prolong for some for a life time. Then life has its own way of separating sweethearts. Few of the only known faces you brought with you are screened out and now you’re destined to stay with twenty nine idiots who are grandly referred as ‘GENTLEMEN’ completely different from each other yet compassionately adaptable and willing to embrace each other despite being competitors. Wishing each other success without the slightest of envy in the heart. Few with their aspirations and hope lying in the next few day’s result and few like me for a crash course on ‘if this’s destined to be me ‘. GTO’s and all the different to remember test drills come to an end. The last few hours of the starting of a life time bonding regardless of the results, still occupied with ‘behan nd maa ki’ abuses but taking nothing to the heart. Wishing everyone luck and praying for each other’s success at the same time ready and strong enough to embrace the result whatever it might be. Strongest of the young people land here and they more than anyone else know that there has always been a chance and not hitting into the target is the setting of a better and higher target. Life just pause doesn’t come to an end. Between the moment of nervousness and ultimate chest numbers to be declared still goes on d ‘maa ki n behaan ki’ abuses, happy faces all around. A bi spectacled guy comes up and gives the usual bla bla speech and announces the result, only two in out of the twenty nine super humans. Haven’t lost anything, just have given way to two really aspiring and deserving people chance to prove themselves. Hugs n teary abuses again , shouting at the ex-fellow mates and now subjected with a new but really boring term ‘recommended’ to make the chance count and better hit the bull’s eye just because we really need to see you there . Few of the best moments of life come at the most boring of places and this one at army selection center, Allahabad.
Death is such an irreplaceable and an inexplicable feeling. One who has never had a loved one depart would never understand. I personally fall in one such category. It was a havoc seeing my friend cry and weep over his dad’s death. I have never realized an emotion as true as that. His entire family depending on the old man now cries over their uncertainty, missing all the glorified days of togetherness. I guess that’s what death does. It doesn’t just take our loved ones away from us but also gives rise to memories which would always remain in the mind bringing sour and haunting uncertainties .
I wish I could live forever and this wish of mine brings inhibitions, a lot of inhibitions. It doesn’t let me take risk and stops me exploring my ghosts. In spite of all the negatives which death brings, it does teach us one big lesson that that like life it’s unforgiving and ruthless.
I know I’m deviating but then this comparison adds up to the value of this write-up. Death, no matter how horrifying it is. It is better than our democratic system. It has no reservations and is a perfect egalitarian leaving no distinction to survive between castes, religion or in an arguable case even “age” .
In fact it does not in any way has reservations for the living. Some lives which exist in untold miseries are left to survive and the survival in itself is worse than the death. Perhaps these are the “ruthless ways” of life, the pretty sibling of death !!
Life and death both like playing games, when you think you have just survived and a whisk of cool breeze blows over your cheeks, the very next moment something horrible happens. The death of your loved one takes you to unexplainable trans fixation which in no way is better than your own death . That’s what I meant, the frolics of the siblings. One shows you light while the other pulls you away from it. In clearer terms, life and death are not questionable entities affecting life in a way which can never be explained through words.
It not only destroys life but with that it also leaves behind an empty hollow in the hearts and minds of our loved one which in itself is intolerable .If the soul of the dead person could see the happenings from the heavens it would question God his theory of giving misery to people who worship him and treat him with the ultimatum on what has he done to the people who have worshiped him throughout their lives.
I saw it in my friend’s mother’s eyes that how it feels to lose someone with whom you have seen the “ups and downs” of life and how it feels when a father dies without seeing his son handing him his first self and hard earned salary. He would have felt proud seeing his family love him so much, he would have felt boastful seeing the crowd which gathered at his funeral, he would have loved seeing his son having a great bunch of friends who feel equally evoked at his friend’s tough time. But All that ‘he would’ are just not possible. Even the greatest of miracles cannot bring him to life.
I see it in the old man’s eyes, he feels equally sad and responsible for his family. His dead eyes speaks of the volumes of love he had for them. It speaks of the darkness which his demise has brought. It also speaks of the bright dawn which follows the darkness. Now my friend, his son has to take responsibilities. Even the greatest of frolickers become responsible when something drastic happens.
It makes no difference if one is mentally mature or not. When you know that you’re now needed and have to be responsible for the smiles on your family’s face. You tend to change, most of the time it shapes your character and instills belief in you and the other times it ruins you. I pray and hope wholeheartedly that his father feels proud of him and his soul rests in peace.